The Definition of Strength

Miriam Webster defines strength as “the quality or state of being physically strong; the ability to resist being moved or broken by a force; the power to resist attack”.  Well, I hate to tell you, Webster, but you’re wrong.

The definition of strength is a wife who loved her husband with every fiber of her being; a wife who was devoted and dedicated in a way that was truly genuine; a wife who never came to expect anything from her husband, even though everyone knew he would go to the moon and back for her.  The definition of strength is a wife who while working part-time always made sure things were “just so” at home, took care of all of the banking, laundry, ironing, and cleaning, among other things, knowing that her husband was working so hard to provide for their family.  The definition of strength is a wife who had big dreams for the life she would make with her husband and accomplished them all.

The definition of strength is a mother who attended countless little league and softball games, scouting events, dance and gymnastics recitals, and mother-son bowling nights; a mother who taught her children so much just by living and being the kind, gentle, loving person that she was; a mother who always listened to her children, especially her daughter, ramble on and on and on about who knows what and always making them feel like whatever they had to say was the most important thing in the world.  (Having two young children of my own, I know first hand how difficult this can be at times.)  The definition of strength is a mother who was always there to help in any way she could with advice, a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on, from the time her children were born, right up until they were in their mid-thirties. The definition of strength is a mother who welcomed the spouses of her children with an open heart and always treated them and loved them as if they were her own. 

The definition of strength is a Gramma who loved her four little monkeys more than they will ever realize; a Gramma who played board games and card games with her grandsons and let them cheat and win; a Gramma who kissed and hugged her grandsons as much and as often as they would allow; a Gramma who pitched batting practice and blew bubbles and enjoyed the pool in the backyard before having squeeze pops with those boys; a Gramma who attended school related and other important events and was so proud of her grandsons for all they have already learned and accomplished in their short lives.  The definition of strength is a Gramma whose passion and legacy will live on in the lives and hearts of those grandsons.   

The definition of strength is a daughter who made her parents so proud of all of her accomplishments in school, in her career, as a caring and loving wife and mother; a daughter who while watching her own mother struggle with emphysema, fought harder and harder to live the life she always wanted; a daughter who took special care of her father after her mother had passed, always calling to check-in, taking him out to eat, inviting him over for time with family and having him visit in Fort Myers, a place that her parents loved so much.  

The definition of strength is a sister who always cared for her three younger brothers in the best way she knew how; leaving enough food on her own plate to give them a little extra at meal time; having a unique and special relationship with each of them based on their own personalities; sharing many family vacations and special times with them and their own families as adults.  The definition of strength is a sister “in-law” who welcomed every new person into the family with such a sense of belonging and grace.  The definition of strength is an aunt who always had a beautiful smile, an ear to listen and arms to hug her nieces and nephews, letting them know that she would always be there for whatever they might need.

The definition of strength is a friend who loved spending time with the special people in her life – grabbing lunch or dinner at a favorite restaurant, going on double dates to PC basketball games, having couples nights with the girls from the bank, going to the casino on bonus points days and nights, climbing multiple flights of stairs to spend time with friends, taking her time and going slowly but never complaining about a single step; walking the length of the mall and shopping with her little girl just to get some time as “girls are girls”.  The definition of strength is a friend who always knew when to call and what to say for any situation, regardless of how much time may have passed.  A friend who never judged but rather accepted people just as they are and loved each friend in a special way. 

The definition of strength is a woman who always put others needs ahead of her own – holding the door for perfect strangers; offering up her seat to anyone nearby; taking care of everyone of her customers at the bank in a way that met the customers needs, not necessarily the “sales” goals.  The definition of strength is a woman who never wanted to be the center of attention but who had so much love, class, grace, patience, courage, compassion, and beauty that she could light up a room with just her smile.  The definition of strength is a woman who never let others know about the fight she was fighting and how hard it was for her to breathe but who woke everyday, ready to face the day, always 110% beautifully together, right down to her pink or red finger nails. 

The definition of strength is a woman who never ever complained or pitied herself for having pulmonary hypertension but rather lived her life as fully as she could, always inspiring her doctors to work harder to help her because of the beautiful person she was. The definition of strength is a woman, whose doctors and nurses worked tirelessly, around the clock, searching for answers because they could feel the love that her family had for her and from that love knew what an amazing person she was.   The definition of strength is a woman who even at the very end of her life showed enough fight and determination to allow her family to get a decent night’s rest knowing they were in for a long few days. 

The definition of strength is Deborah Louise Kavanagh. 

I love you, Mom!  Thank you for fighting so hard, for so long, and for having such amazing strength to do it all so beautifully and effortlessly!  Thank you for being my best friend!