On December 27th, about 12 hours before my parents were scheduled to head back to Florida for the winter, my Mom was admitted to the hospital. She and my Dad had spent the day at the walk-in clinic because she was coughing a lot and having trouble breathing. That night, still not feeling better, she asked my dad to call the rescue. Mom was admitted late Saturday night/early Sunday morning but was sent home on Tuesday. I spoke with her Tuesday morning just before she left the hospital and she sounded great!
I knew she was going home and didn't want to bother her or make her talk and cough too much so I didn't call Tuesday afternoon. I called on Wednesday to check in and Mom didn't sound good. She was having trouble talking much without coughing so I kept the conversation short. Wednesday was New Year's Eve and we were heading to Dan and Karin's to ring in the new year. My plan was to swing in and see Mom and Dad sometime on New Year's Day before heading home.
New Year's Day, while at Dan and Karin's, the phone rang around 10:30 am. It was Dad. He was taking Mom back to the hospital. More of the same. Coughing a lot and having difficulty breathing. Once she had been admitted to a room in Jane Brown, I went to the hospital to see her. She was doing ok, not great, but ok. I had seen her much worse.
Friday, early afternoon, I called my Dad to check in. He was on his way to Dr. Drogin. He wasn't feeling well either and Mom was supposed to have a follow up appointment after her first hospitalization to get the "OK" to go to Florida, so Dad took Mom's appointment. That evening around 4:30, Dan called me and said that Dad had been taken to the hospital in a rescue from CVS where he passed out while waiting for prescriptions. WOW...2015 was off to a stellar start and we were only 36 hours in!!
I immediately got in the car to go to RI Hospital. I wasn't sure where Dad would be so I started in Mom's room. She said "What are you doing here? Did you talk to Dad?" I said, "No, did you? He's here." I explained what I knew at that point and was able to get my Dad on the phone to talk to Mom. It turned out that Dad was dehydrated and hadn't been eating, drinking and sleeping well because he was taking care of Mom and trying to get ready for Florida. Doing too much! The doctor's decided to keep Dad overnight for observation and we were able to reassure Mom that he was OK.
Saturday, I went to the hospital to visit both Mom and Dad. Dad had been diagnosed with the flu and was resting when I stopped in. Mom was having more difficulty breathing than she had been on Thursday or Friday and asked for the oxygen cannula. Dan and I left around 3:30 and had I known what was to come, I never would have left!
My original plan was to go back to Mom and Dad's house, see Bruce and the boys, grab some dinner and than stop back in to see Mom and Dad before heading home for the night. The weather was getting a little nasty with snow and freezing rain so rather than stick around, we decided to head home. I called both Mom and Dad in their rooms to let them know that we were going to head home but that we would be back in the morning.
At 8:30 Sunday morning, Dan called me to let me know that early Sunday morning (sometime between 5 and 7), Mom was having such difficulty breathing that she had to be intubated and moved to ICU. My Dad heard the code blue (respiratory arrest or cardiac arrest) and knew it was Mom. This began what was to be a very long 11 days.
Dad was kept in the hospital for an extra day, mostly because of what was going on with Mom. The doctors wanted to make sure he was eating, drinking, getting enough fluid, etc so that he didn't have any more complications. Dan and I gathered as much information as we could on Sunday and kept Dad informed of what was happening to the best of our ability. Dad was released on Monday and the three of us spent the better parts of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday in the waiting room on the 4th floor of the hospital.
Wednesday afternoon, after dropping Dad at home, I stopped at the hospital to see Mom again before heading home. I just needed to sit with her, to let her know that she wasn't alone, to make sure that she wasn't afraid, just to be there like she had always been there for me. Mom was pretty sedated but would shake her head "yes" or "no" in response to questions. She seemed to know that we were there a little bit. Dad and Dan had a good visit with Mom on Wednesday night. She opened her eyes a little and smiled a bit when they were talking to her. She gave us some hope that maybe we were turning the corner, that she could come off of the ventilator and that she was getting stronger. Her heart function had improved from what it was earlier in the week, her BP, HR, blood oxygen, etc were all stabilizing.
The doctors were a bit stumped as to why they weren't able to turn down the ventilator enough and take the tube out. They thought maybe she was anxious and nervous or scared so they tried to sedate her enough to remove the anxiety. After three days of waiting, it was clear that maybe Mom just needed more time to get stronger. The doctors began treating her for acute bronchitis hoping that they could open her airways enough to get her to breath on her own more.
Monday and Tuesday were full of ups and downs. Periods where Mom was stable followed by periods where Mom's heart rate and blood pressure were all over the place. Dan called me around midnight Tuesday morning and said "Mom's not doing well, you need to get here." Bruce and I left immediately. It was a long, stressful, scary day for all of us but by the end of the day, Mom's body seemed to be responding well to the nitrous oxide so we all went home to rest.
Wednesday morning, around 7:30, Dad called. Mom's blood pressure and heart rate were all over the place again. After meeting with the doctors Wednesday morning, we knew the end was near. At 11:40 am, Wednesday, January 14th, Mom peacefully took her last breath.
We said goodbye to a beautiful lady who fought so long and so hard without ever once complaining. We are going to miss her so much and will never quite be whole again. I love you, Mom!
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