"Hi Mom! It's me. Just wanted to check in and let you know what we've been up to. Haven't talked with you in a while. I miss you. I hope you are doing well! Love you!"
That's the message that I want to leave for you tonight. You should be at the show at Indian Creek with Dad. We are all missing you so much! We're doing ok, getting through day by day but it isn't easy.
There are so many things that I want to tell you but then when I try, I come up empty. It's the strangest feeling but I'm going to give it a shot.
Snow, snow and more snow. I have lost track of how much snow we have had since your birthday because it is just nuts. We got another 8 inches last night and this morning and that was a small storm. The snow banks are crazy high, making it tough to drive because you can't see around them. Our front hedges are covered on both the street side and the house side. Bruce spent 2.5 hours outside snowblowing and shoveling today. He shoveled off the decks because we were afraid that the weight would be too much. It has been bitter cold the last few days and is supposed to stay that way for the next week. I hope where you are it is warm and sunny! Send some to us, OK? Can't wait to get to Florida next week!
The boys have been challenging. We haven't had much of a schedule since before the holidays and I think they are feeling it. It's been tough to stick to anything with so many cancellations and other interruptions. Evan is on vacation from school this week so we have some play dates planned with Emily, Jenna and Stacey. We are supposed to get more snow so hopefully we'll be able to get them in. The boys have so much energy that they can't get out right now. We've been trying to get outside when we can but the snow is so deep that they can't even play in it, plus it's so cold! Logan has developed quite a temper and loves to push Evan's buttons. He has started throwing things and hitting when he doesn't get his way. That has been earning him more timeouts. He is also still really sweet, always wanting to snuggle and play. If I am crying or upset, he always gives me a hug and says "I don't want you to cry, Mommy" or "I miss Gramma." Evan has been acting out more and more and was even difficult the other day at school. I'm at a loss for what to do with him but we took away every toy from him yesterday and now he has to earn them back. I know that part of it is everything that has been going on here but part of it is just him testing. I'm hoping that this phase is short lived and that I can have my sweet, fun boy back because our days are numbered. Evan is registered for kindergarten and Logan is signed up for Tuesday-Thursday preschool next year!! It's crazy how quickly time passes but it will be nice to have some time to myself. Wish we could just chat on the phone for those 5 hours!!
Me...I've been not myself. I haven't worked out consistently since before Christmas and I have a hard time getting things done at home. The weather doesn't help and just makes me want to crawl up in a ball and sleep all day. I'm hoping that after our trip to Florida things will be a bit easier. I bought a really cute pair of flip flops the other day and am excited to wear them when we visit Dad. Wish we could go to Beall's together. I've been dying to shop! Bruce and I went to PPAC to see the Indigo Girls for my birthday. We had a drink and an appetizer at Providence Coal Fired Pizza before the show and then went back there after for some pizza and drinks. I ran into Nisa at the show. She hasn't changed one bit! She was asking for you. She hadn't heard the news.
Not too much else. We had a good time at the Super Bowl Party at Dan and Karin's and were excited to see the Pats win, even though it wasn't looking good for a while. We took Bumpa out to dinner to Ruby Tuesday's the night before his birthday and I've been calling him about once a week to check in. He seems to be doing ok. It looks like Jack is going to be able to sell his house, which everyone is happy about. I've been helping Dad with the bills and online banking. He's really concerned about messing something up but he's been doing ok so far. He'll find his way. He's been staying busy in Fort Myers and seeing quite a few people. I worry about him but I know you'll keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok.
I've had a tough week with Dad going back to Florida and especially the last few days. I look at the windows to your room in ICU every time I drive by the hospital. I know you aren't there but I just can't seem to help it. I keep thinking that I wish I never left on the afternoon of the 3rd. I don't know what would have been different if I hadn't but I still wish I hadn't. Part of me keeps thinking that one of these times when I go to your house, you'll greet us at the door or be in the family room playing solitaire. I know you won't be but oh how I wish you would be! I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I will always cherish our relationship. Keep me strong, Mom! I need you! I love you!
Some photos and video from the last month including celebrating my birthday and Valentine's Day
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