Every year for probably the last 17 years, at exactly 9:10 am on February 13th, my Mom would call me. You see I was born on February 13th, 1979 at 9:10 am. For the first 18 years of my life, I was at home for my birthday but then once I went to college and beyond, she would call. Before cell phones, she would leave a message on my home phone or call my work phone. Once I had a cell phone and couldn't really be reached during the day when I was teaching, she would call my cell and leave a message. More recently, since I was home with the boys, I would wait for that phone call, always knowing that it would come right at 9:10...never 9:09 and never 9:11. Well this year that phone call never came.
Actually it did...but this time it was Dad that called. He knew Mom's ritual and he picked up right where she left off. I can already hear him saying "Oh, right, what am I? Chopped liver?" but he will be the first to tell you, it's just different. I am truly appreciative of the fact that he did call. That right at 9:10 the phone rang as I was looking at my phone, going through old voicemails that Mom had left, wondering if I happened to have an old birthday message. I am thankful that right at 9:10 Mom's photo appeared on my phone with the words "incoming call from Mom & Dad". We talked and cried for a few minutes together, knowing that today would be a tough day for me.
As I went through the day, I recalled birthdays past. When I was in elementary school, I had perfect attendance from Kindergarten through 6th grade. I am assuming that absences due to illnesses were excused because I don't think that I really NEVER MISSED A DAY. We would celebrate my birthday with both family and friend parties. The family party was usually a "fancy" dinner in the dining room with a meal of my choosing for Mom, Dad, Dan and I. Many years Papa & Grandma and Gramma & Bumpa would join us. I remember Strawberry Shortcake (the character not the dessert) and Rainbow Bright cakes and feeling so grown up, eating in the dining room! The friend parties were usually roller skating parties or the famous Diane Kavanagh sleepovers, where 10 or so girls would sleepover. We'd watch movies, style each others hair, do makeovers...you know, typical girl stuff.
Once I was in junior high and high school, I always took my birthday out of school. Just ask Dan. He always says "Yeah, Diane apparently didn't have to go to school on her birthday." I was a good student and didn't miss many days so I would take my special day off and Mom and I would spend the day together as "girls are girls", a phrase Mom coined when I was quite young to refer to our time together, just the two of us. We would go shopping and go to lunch. We would often buy a few things, never a crazy big shopping spree, but more of the perfect chance to spend some uninterrupted time together. It was THE BEST!!
When I was in college, my parents would come to WPI to take me out to dinner, usually to Peppercorn's or The Boynton or I would head home to RI for dinner there. Sometimes it was on my birthday, other times it was a few days before or a few days after. The Sunday that I turned 21, Mom and Dad came up to take me to the Sole Proprietor for dinner. I had been out late the night before, ordering my first "legal" drinks and I remember feeling just terrible! I made it through and appreciated the time we had together.
I remember turning 25 and having just a terrible day! Bruce and I had been married for about 5 months and due to our current job situations, we were living in two different states. I was also having a hard time being in my mid-20s, a quarter of a century old. I remember sitting on the bed in Dan's old room at "home" and just crying and crying while Mom was there to comfort me in anyway she could and mostly just there was hugs! After I finished my pity party, we went shopping and to lunch which made things better.
For my last 8 birthdays, Mom and Dad have been in Fort Myers so even though I didn't get to see them, I always spoke with them and really looked forward to my 9:10 phone call. Knowing that I will never again hear Mom's voice on the other end of the phone say "Hi dahlin' girl! Happy birthday!" is extremely difficult for me. But then I think about all of the amazing memories that I do have of the 35 birthdays that I did celebrate with Mom and I smile. I am so thankful for the time that we did have, especially when you consider that Mom was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension when I was just 8 months old and that she didn't think that "my baby will even know me." Well, Mom, I knew you and love you so much!! Thank you for helping me create so many wonderful memories! I love you!
I will still look forward to the 9:10 phone call on my birthday but just in a slightly different way...from Dad! Don't forget, Dad! I know you never would! Thank you so much for calling and continuing to love me the way that Mom always did! Love you!
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